Forgotten Light
by RebelHuntress
Summary: Ben and Rey have shared the force bond connection since they were kids, but in a grave turn of events these memories are forgotten and all that is left is a wisp of a life that could have been. (A one-shot that I wish was canon)
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This is a one-shot, let me know if you'd like it to be a story**

 **Disclaimer: I own nothing. Star Wars is owned by Lucasfilm, Disney, etc.**

 **Cover picture credit to owner Jenny Dolfen. It's what inspired this :')**

 **P.S. I'm mainly a first person writer so I apologize if you find any mistakes here, I proof read but just in case.**

* * *

 _There was a time, I met a girl of a different kind_

 _We ruled the world, I thought I'll never lose her out of sight_

 _-Don't You Worry Child by Swedish House Mafia_

* * *

 **Ben: 10 years old**

 **Rey: 1 year old**

Ben stared in disbelief. He was excited, but his ears couldn't believe what he heard even as his uncle beckoned him towards the meditation stone. It was what he dreamed about since the day his mother told him those famous stories about his family. He climbed onto the stone, sitting crossed legged and he smiled as the wind made his long hair fan his face.

"This is serious, Ben. Focus." His uncle smacked his arm with a long piece of grass, but he was smirking at his nephew.

The ten-year-old quickly composed his face to his usual solemn expression and looked up to his Uncle for guidance. The man with the never aging blue-green eyes gave him a curt nod of approval.

"Close your eyes, breathe, and reach out." He ordered the young boy.

Ben followed his orders and placed his palms firmly on the stone beneath him. It only took seconds for him to connect to the Force. He smiled. Now the full power of the Force seemed to rush over him. He could feel the land, the ocean, the creatures, the dead, peace, violence, cold, darkness...

He gasped, opening his eyes and taking in his surroundings. He wasn't on the island anymore. It was just him surrounded by darkness. Ben stood up warily and turned around sharply at the sound of a cry. It was a baby. No older than a year inside a crib, the only thing in this darkness other than him. She was wailing even though she had blankets, toys, and to Ben's sight, she was clean and unharmed. She was the prettiest baby he'd ever seen despite her tear stained face and messed up brown curls.

"Hey, what's wrong, baby?" Ben stepped towards her, hesitating to reach for her, but when she stopped crying to stare at him and reached her hands up he couldn't resist.

Her tiny hands went up to touch his hair and pat the skin exposed on his neck curiously. Ben looked around, looking for a sign. Maybe this was his uncle testing him or the Force? What could this mean?

"Are you real?" Ben whispered, poking her cheeks. They were warm and felt real enough.

The baby tilted her head up to look up at him and he quickly moved his hand to support her head as she broke into a toothless smile that could lit up even the darkest of days. He'd always wanted a sibling, even dared to ask his parents for one. Leia had smiled saying that he was all she ever needed, but it was clear that his father was more dedicated to smuggling than his own family and his mother dedicated to her building Resistance. So, he found himself alone, staring longingly whenever he saw siblings in Chandrila, the planet where he was born and raised mostly by nannies.

Ben chuckled, hugging her closely to his chest for a minute longer before placing a kiss on her forehead and setting her back down in her crib. She was about to cry again, but he took her stuffed toy and pretended hat it was raining kisses on her face. She giggled like a peal of bells.

" _Yours… Protect her…"_

Ben turned sharply at the sudden whisper at the back of his ear and was suddenly brought back to reality, except that every piece of stone was floating around him. His uncle was right in front of him shaking his shoulders until Ben scrambled away startled and the rocks dropped like rain.

"Ben? Ben, are you alright? You zoned out when you felt the darkness…" Luke says, helping him to his feet.

Ben cleared his throat, "Yes, Uncle. I'm alright. I was fighting the darkness, like you showed me how." He lied easily.

"Are you sure? You didn't experience anything else?" Luke narrowed his eyes at his nephew. The boy always had an unreadable expression, it was hard to doubt his words ever since he could speak.

"Yes, I'm sure." Ben replied firmly, but his hands still felt the tingle of the baby's Force. He wasn't sure why he lied, it was an instinct deep in his soul to protect her that he had yet to realize.

* * *

 **Ben: 12**

 **Rey: 3**

The next time he sees her he's training with his grandfather's lightsaber. He nearly stumbles into the toddler running around him chasing something he couldn't see. Ben blinked in surprise as she suddenly stopped to stare up at him and then to his lightsaber before a mischievous smirk crossed her lips and she was off and running again.

"Why you little tease…" Ben whispered with a laugh.

"Ben?" His fellow Padawan friend, Cregan, brought his attention back with a confused look.

"What? Yeah... Just give me a minute. I, uh, have to check on something." Ben turned off his lightsaber and ran to follow the toddler despite Cregan calling out for him.

She was giggling until she tripped on her own feet and Ben dove with arms outstretched to catch her.

"Gotcha! Are you alright, princess?" Ben stood up and helped her stand as he brushed away the dirt from her arms and knees. He saw that her cheeks were flushed and her skin warm like a fever and her brows were furrowed like if the sun was beating down at her.

She was alarmed from the scare, but her head moved up and down in a nod as she stared up at him.

"What were you chasing?" Ben asked curiously with a soft smile.

"Nothing. Just some ugly little creature. It got away." She says clearly in a voice like bells.

Ben crouched down to her level, "You've grown. Remember me? No, right? I'm Ben Solo. What's your name?"

"Rey." She replied shyly.

"Rey. A pretty name for a pretty girl." Ben grinned reaching out for some flowers up on the cliff wall beside them. Rey watched in awe as it floated down to Ben's hand and she stepped closer to watch him tie them together into a crown.

"Princess Rey." Ben settled the handmade crown on her head full of chocolate waves and she patted the flowers on her head in confusion. "They're called flowers. They are the most beautiful type of plants. Those are daisies specifically."

She grinned with her tiny milk teeth, "How you do that?"

"What? This?" Ben smirked as he made pebbles float around them.

Rey poked at them with a gaping mouth.

"It's called the Force. It's all around us, balance. I'm a Padawan, but one day I'll be a Jedi."

She tilted her head, gazing at him with innocent hazel eyes, "I want to be a Jedi. Can I, Ben? Like you? And I want one of those glowy things."

"A lightsaber. I don't know, Rey." He replied honestly, feeling how stronger her Force was since that first and last time he saw her. "You should head back home. You're not lost, right? Where do you live?"

"Nope. Home is over there. Tatooine." She pointed at rolling hills behind her and Ben hoped her house was visible.

Ben just about had a heart attack, "Outside in Tatooine all by yourself? No wonder you're all hot and sweaty! You know there's bad people there? That want to eat you. Get inside—" He fell on his butt when the little girl had had abruptly tumbled into him for a hug.

They laughed and Ben raised her high, even throwing her upwards with the Force and she squealed in delight when he caught her after standing up.

"Home. Now." He set her down and pushed her away gently.

"Bye-bye!" She waved before running off and disappearing.

"May the Force be with you, my Rey." Ben sighed longingly.

* * *

 **Ben: 15**

 **Rey: 6**

He got to see her every night since the day she turned five whereas before it had been twice a week. The bond had grown stronger as they aged. They now felt each other's emotions and Ben could speak to her telepathically, but she couldn't reply yet.

She was the highlight of his life. With her, he wasn't a Padawan he was Jedi Master Ben and she was the Padawan even though she couldn't use the Force.

" _Rey, what are you doing?" Ben rolled his eyes when he caught her one time with her arm outstretched with the funniest scrunched up face._

" _Trying to use the Force." The adorable four-year-old had said in a strained tone._

She was adorably stubborn, but oh so fierce. He accepted to train her in hand to hand combat, trained her on fighting with a lightsaber—a pretend stick one despite her annoyance—and stars, she was a fast learner. But the time he enjoyed the most with her were the times they cuddled up in his bed and he would tell her stories. True stories of the galaxy's history. Her favorite was the Luke Skywalker one and she had gasped in wonder when he told her his lightsaber belonged to his grandfather Anakin Skywalker, the Darth Vader. He'd tell her stories until she'd fall asleep. Whenever she asked about his parents he avoided the subject. It was easy to distract a child's curiosity. The truth was he hadn't heard from his parents since he tuned a teenager. It hurt, but Rey kept all the dark feelings at bay.

"Are you alone, Rey? I don't want people seeing you speak to yourself." Ben whispered when Rey appeared crossed leg on the floor of his hut where he had been practicing his calligraphy on his makeshift desk.

"Mommy went out and Daddy's in his room. He's probably asleep by now." She assured as she hopped to her feet and strode over to where he sat and she suddenly gasped like she always does when she remembers something. "Benny, guess what!"

"What, princess?" Ben chuckled at her excitement.

"I almost forgot. I have a gift for you." She dug around in her pocket.

"I'm curious now." Ben pursed his lips, setting down his pen as Rey moved to sit on his lap.

"For being my best friend." She opened her little hands and Ben saw a handmade bracelet. It was made of a black leather string with a tiny onyx gemstone as a charm.

"Stars... This is amazing, Rey." Ben breathed in awe and kissed the top of her head. "Thank you, Princess."

"It reminded me of your hair." She giggled as she tied it around my wrist.

"That's very thoughtful." Ben laughed already thinking of what to gift her with. She loved flowers and lightsabers...

Rey's head turned sharply, listening to something or someone I couldn't hear.

"Mommy, you're back early." She stood up to face her mother. "Where are we going...? Okay. May I pack first?"

After a moment, she turned back to me, "She's gone. Mommy and Daddy are going on a trip with me."

Ben furrowed his eyes, "Where? Why?"

Rey shrugged and Ben saw as she started to pack her things. Something was off. According to Rey, her parents barely spared her a glance, they were drinkers—not that Rey realized that, but at times Ben caught glimpses of her memories whenever he meditated around her as she practiced with a stick she used as a staff and he saw her parents were two-bit junkers that were always drinking—, and always left her by herself. Why suddenly were they going on a trip? With what money?

"You'll continue to train me with the lightsaber next time?" Rey asked hopefully, her three little buns shaking as she hopped excitedly.

"Of course, my Rey." Ben knelt and opened his arms for her. He could feel her Force and it was of the purest kind. "Maker protect you and may the Force be with you-"

"Always." She finished with a grin and Ben nodded.

 **A few hours later...**

Hurt... Confusion... Fear.

These emotions hit Ben's heart like a crashing X-wing, he knew them well, but these weren't his emotions. He was in the middle of a class and stood up abruptly, drawing attention to his panicked self. Master Luke stopped talking to stare at him.

 _"NO! COME BACK!"_ A child screamed in terror.

"Rey." Ben ran out of the temple, halting outside to see Rey screaming up at the sky, tugging on something that had a tight grip on her arm.

"MOMMY! DADDY! COME BACK!" She screamed through tears.

"LET HER GO!" Ben used the Force unthinkingly, directing it at whatever had a hold on her. It was futile, all it did was split a close by boulder down the middle.

Rey seemed to notice him and he didn't hesitate on running towards her as she was being dragged away.

"BEN! HELP! BEN!" She shrieked in pure terror that sent a chill down his spine.

"REY! I GOT YOU! I'M HERE!" He reached for her hand, but as soon as they touched she was gone and he was left panting on his knees, the ground beneath him shaking with the Force.

"No... _No!_ " Ben sobbed. He felt empty like the connection had been severed, like his heart had been taken along with her. It was gone. His Rey was gone from his heart, mind, and soul. All that was left was darkness.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: You guys asked for it. So here it is ^-^ I'm so in love with this story. If you didn't notice, I changed the rating. Read little note at the end. Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

* * *

 _How many nights does it take to count the stars?_

 _That's the time it would take to fix my heart._

 _Infinity by One Direction_

* * *

 **Rey: 6**

* * *

His fingers had brushed hers a second before the Force ripped him away and suddenly she couldn't remember his name. His face was slowly fading from her memories.

"Stop with all your screamin', you little brat." The Crolute finally fed up with her struggling, picked her up and threw her into a sack, throwing it over his warty back.

She was then unceremoniously dropped into what can only be described as a cage. It was tall enough for her to stand and all it had was a metal cot with a thin blanket and a bucket in the corner.

"I'm Unkar Plutt, junk boss of Jakku. You'll be staying in there until you break. Don't even bother trying to escape. If the smugglers or scavengers don't catch you, the creatures will eat you, and if you manage to get past that the desert will fry and starve you in a matter of hours. Behave and you might just earn your freedom sooner rather than later." He says before stomping out of the room.

Rey was completely traumatized. She was crying silently as her body shook and mumbling distorted versions of "Mommy" and "Daddy". They'll come back for her, they must. Maybe there was a reason. Maybe it was to protect her? Yes, that's it.

She sat on the dusty ground, hugging her knees up to her chest. When she closed her eyes, she could see a face, a boy... But other than that, it was all hazy.

This little girl had a spine of steel. a fierceness like no other, and a heart full of hope. So, she lifted her head, wiped her tears away, and forced herself to her feet.

* * *

 **Ben: 15**

* * *

Whispers filled his head. A dark voice telling him to embrace these rage-filled emotions. They crashed like waves and cold tendrils went up and down his spine leaving a trail of goosebumps in their wake. The only hot thing he felt were the tears running down his face. His girl... What was her name? It was beautiful, she was beautiful.

Her sweet laugh was the last thing that echoed in his mind before all that was left was a void.

"Ben? Ben!"

Ben flinched, shrugging off his Uncle's hand from his shoulder where he knelt beside him on the split ground. Had he done this?

"Ben, what happened?" Luke ordered, grabbing his arm in a tight grip so that he couldn't run off.

"I-I don't know..." He stammered honestly. "I was scared... Then I felt rage."

Luke grabbed his face, staring solemnly into his tear-filled, red eyes, "Let's get you inside. Class is dismissed today."

Ben couldn't remember anything. Just that one moment he was in class and the next he was sobbing outside with his Force so out of control the ground shook. Luke didn't pressure him, but from that day on he was never the same.

He began channeling rage, instead of peace, hatred instead of love, fear instead of security, and darkness instead of light. An icy voice in his mind constantly encouraged these actions. But at night he'd dream, dream about a girl always with her back to him radiating hope, reminding him of the Light Side. It caused a never-ending war in his mind.

But it did end. A night years later when his Uncle hovered over him with a crazed, determined look in his eye to kill him with his lightsaber...

* * *

 _How many nights have you wished someone would stay?_

 _Lie awake only hoping they're okay_

* * *

 **After TFA and TLJ...**

 **Kylo Ren/Ben Solo: 29**

 **Rey: 20**

* * *

The city of Coruscant was amazing, yet overwhelming for Rey. Leia decided it was best to lay low and send what's little left of the Resistance to find any sympathizers that might still exist. Rey was one of those sent out, but it unsettled her that Leia had chosen this place. A planet associated completely to the First Order. It was hiding in plain sight the princess had said.

 _More like kriffing suicide._

Rey huffed in defeat, falling backwards onto the softest bed she's ever laid on. Even though she was staying in the lower level of a cantina whose owner Maz knows. Supposedly, he can be trusted, but Rey was hesitant only agreeing when Leia told her she had everything under control.

Still, she slept with an eye open and her staff lying on the pillow beside her. Maker curse her and Ben for destroying the legendary blue lightsaber.

Speak of the devil...

Rey sat up abruptly, narrowing her eyes at Ben who had appeared with just his boxers lying low on the V of his hips. Her mind and body betrayed her. She couldn't resist ogling his sculpted body, slick with water droplets leading down _there_. Her eyes stopped at his ankle, zooming in on something tied around it.

"Don't eat so fast, Rey, you'll choke." He murmured sardonically, but she didn't hear him, too focused on a that black leather string on his ankle.

Rey stood up abruptly, pointing at it, "Where'd you get that?"

Ben looked down and furrowed his brows, "I... I honestly do not know. I just... I've had it since I can remember, I only extended it a long time ago to fit on my ankle. I never take it off..." He trailed off, realizing he really didn't know why he had that.

Rey stepped closer and she could see a black gemstone-an onyx-tied to it. She knelt, mesmerized by it, and Ben's voice was far away as she reached and touched it.

 _"Rey. A pretty name, for a pretty girl."_

 _"A crown for a princess."_

 _"Rey, you hold it like this and slice diagonally not side to side."_

 _"Jump! I promise to catch you... Yes, always."_

 _"May the Force be with you, my Rey."_

 _"REY! I GOT YOU! I'M HERE!"_

 _"I love you, too, princess. How much? Count all the stars in the galaxies and that's how much."_

Rey remembered that night, lying together on the ground light years away staring up at the same sky. His answer was too complicated to grasp clearly in her young mind, but she thought he just meant a lot... Now, at this moment, she knew it was deeper, that he meant infinity.

Rey snapped her head up to see Ben staring down at her with a glazed expression before a split second later he had fallen to his knees and enveloped her in his arms. She instantly responded and wrapped her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck, closing any space between them as he moved to sit crossed legged with her on his lap.

She felt him crying, face buried in her neck as he constantly squeezed and caressed her back in silence. On the other hand, she was a sobbing mess, clinging to him with her cheek resting on his shoulder and tangling her fingers in his damp, soft hair. The way she did when she was a child whenever he carried her when she needed a nap. She remembered it all.

"My Rey, my princess." Ben spoke softly, moving his hand to caress her face where it rested. She rubbed her nose against his neck in response and it was nice to forget everything. The Resistance, the First Order, their choices...

Rey lifted her head sharply to a knock on her door. Ben followed her gaze, but of course he couldn't see anything other than his own wall or door.

"What is it?" Ben asked, reluctantly allowing her to stand.

"Just a second!" She called out and then added to him, "Someone's at my door." She quickly headed for the 'fresher to find a towel to wipe her face and blow her nose.

She walked past Ben who had already pulled on a pair of pants and answered the door. There stood Finn with a cupcake and a smile on his face until he saw Rey's red rimmed eyes.

"Rey? What's wrong?" He asked concerned for his best friend.

"Oh, allergies. This place is nasty and the air is horrible outside you know." She waved nonchalantly and changed the topic. "What's that?"

"Oh, I brought you a cupcake since it's your birthday! Whoop! Happy birthday, Rey!" He cheered and offered me the sweet treat with a burning candle on top.

"That's so sweet, Finn, thank you. You didn't tell anyone else, did you?" She accepted the cupcake with a huge grin and slightly jumped when she heard Ben's low growl behind her.

"You're welcome and I promised you I wouldn't tell anyone... Now come on! Blow it out and make a wish!" Finn urged and Rey laughed, squeezing her eyes shut to make a wish and blowing out the candle.

Suddenly Finn had taken her cupcake and smeared the white frosting on her nose. Rey squeaked in surprise and laughed hysterically when she saw Ben's alarmed expression before he snorted in amusement.

"Officially the big 2 and 0. Feel old yet?"

"Yes, I do." Rey sighed dramatically as she wiped away the frosting with the back of her hand and Finn laughed for a moment before turning solemn.

"May I speak to you about something for a minute?"

Rey glanced warily at Ben who was scowling before she nodded to Finn, "What is it? You can tell me anything." She allowed him inside and they sat beside each other on the bed despite feeling Ben's growing annoyance.

Finn nervously rubbed the back of his neck, "Rose and I... we're officially together."

Rey gasped, "Really? That's great Finn! Oh, I'm so happy."

Finn winced at her words, "You are?"

"Of course, why wouldn't I be?" Rey says in confusion while at the same time trying to ignore Ben's presence on her other side.

"I... I have a secret... I just have to tell you before I leave, I might never see you again, and then regret it-No, no listen." Finn cut her off before she spoke. "I used to like you. A lot. Like I like Rose now."

"Oh... _Oh_. Okay." Rey blinked in surprise. How could she be so oblivious? "But now...?"

He quickly clarified, "As a friend. I've accepted it and I kind of sensed the feeling was one-sided. I'm happy now with Rose, I just wanted to be honest with you."

Kriff. Now she felt like crap, keeping secrets from him when he was so honest like this.

"Thank you. I appreciate it, Finn... So, you're leaving?" Rey frowned, she had hoped to spend more time with her only friend that wasn't a Wookie or a droid.

"Yeah, got a mission with Rose. We'll be away for a while."

"Okay as long as you don't elope. That would really hurt me." Rey pouted and broke into laughter alongside Finn.

"Alright, I promise we won't elope. If you promise to be safe and become the best Jedi ever to exist... And Happy Birthday again."

"I'll try my best and thank you again." Rey promised, hugging him briefly and saying goodbye before he left.

"What was that about?" Ben instantly asked, the second she closed the door.

She rolled her eyes, "Nothing. He just came to say goodbye."

"Be careful around that traitor."

"Ben." Rey sighed and he ignored her chide.

"Where are you?" Rey replied to him with an apprehensive look and he nodded. "Right, don't answer that."

"I'm sorry-"

Ben took her free hand, relishing its softness and warmth, "No. Don't be. Ever heard of the phrase keep your friends close, but your enemies closer?"

"Yes... You mean... You have enemies in the First Order?" Rey says in alarm.

"Hidden ones, yes, but that's not your problem to worry about." He assured and for the first time she saw his face clearly.

There were dark circles under his eyes and he seemed thinner.

"Ben, are you alright?" Rey reached up to cup his face, tracing his scar absently with her thumb.

"I haven't slept much." He acknowledged.

Rey frowned, "Don't tell me it's my fault."

"Okay I won't tell you."

She smacked his arm with a scowl as he snickered, "Screw you." Rey scoffed and began to chuckle. It was the first time he had heard him laugh after so many years.

"Here. You can have my cupcake." She extended it to him.

"No, I couldn't. It's yours. Happy Birthday by the way." Ben says softly kissing the tip of her nose and she blushed bright red. He used to always do that on her birthday, he was always the one to get her a sweet treat and sing to her, not her parents.

"Thank you, but at least share it with me?"

"Okay." Ben agreed if only to see her happy.

Rey bit into half of it, threw the wrapper into a nearby bin, and handed the other half to Ben who ate it with a smile.

"I haven't had something sweet since... Probably when you turned six." Ben says thoughtfully.

"Me neither. I was lucky to get a portion, much less a cupcake." Rey says and Ben frowned, lifting his hand to caress his face.

"I failed to protect you and when I couldn't feel any more guilt and regret, I look at you and you say those kinds of things..."

Rey instantly covered his mouth with a condescending glare, "Don't you dare pity me, Ben Solo, don't you dare blame yourself. What happened, happened. We can't change it. You hear me? Now suck it up and let's go to bed for what little time we might have. I'm exhausted."

She only released his mouth when he nodded and then she moved to slip under the covers of her bed. She heard Ben sigh and a moment later he had slipped into bed behind her. He wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her back to his chest so that no space was allowed between their bodies. Their bodies molded to each other perfectly and Rey relished his warmth, his legs tangling with hers, and her head resting on his extended arm. He pressed tickling kisses to her exposed neck and shoulder, his midnight hair falling down her face and she reached back with her hand to feel his hair as she massaged his scalp.

Ben sighed in contentment, moving his hand up and down her abdomen in a way that made her shiver.

"Are you cold?" Ben whispered in her ear, his hot, minty breath raising goosebumps along her skin.

"No... It's the way you touch me." Rey couldn't put it into words, she's never felt this before. She loved Ben ever since she was a child and she never felt uncomfortable around him back then... Now? Now her heart wanted to burst and a strange sensation was happening between her legs.

Ben sat up slightly to meet her eyes, "If you need space..."

"No, no. Don't go." Rey says desperately, sitting up on her elbows to face him. "I just... Stay."

"What you're feeling is normal, Rey, it's called sexual attraction." He explained softly, like he would a child.

"Don't talk to me like that." Rey snapped, a little too sharply.

Ben raised a brow, "Like what?"

"Like a child. I'm not a child." She says in irritation

His eyes roamed up and down her body with a predatory look, making her flush bright red and she was thankful for the darkness. "I know that. I know that very well." He murmured and then rolled over to lay on his back on the other side of the bed.

"What are you doing?" Rey says in confusion.

"You need space, you're just too stubborn to admit it." Ben replied with a sight smirk.

Rey bristled, "Me? Space? Ben, we've had fourteen years of space."

"That's not what I meant by it. If we do something, I can tell by the way you're reacting that you'll regret it."

"Are you saying I can't handle you?" Rey stated bluntly.

"You said it, not me."

"Ben Solo you narcissistic asshole—"

Her insult was cut short by Ben grabbing her quick as a snake and flipping her on the bed so that he hovered above her. He took her face in his hands and swooped in to catch her lips in a searing kiss. She responded back without hesitation, their lips moving quickly in sync. Rey couldn't resist, she took his face to hold him still to roll his thick, bottom lip between her teeth and she heard Ben growl low in his throat, his tongue seeking entrance into her mouth. Just as she complied, only getting to touch the tip of his tongue with hers he abruptly pulled back, leaving her a panting mess.

"See? You can't handle me yet, princess." Ben whispered with a wicked grin.

But Rey simply smirked and in a split second she locked her ankles around his hips and used all strength to flip his large frame. Ben collapsed on his back with a huff, shocked as Rey now straddled him. She wasted no time gripping his hands and pinning them above his head, daring him with a look to move a muscle before she let go to slowly take her shirt off, arching her back as she did so. She smirked inwardly at Ben's small gasp because she wasn't wearing anything under her shirt. He groaned deeply as she began to dry hump him, letting him feel her heat and she felt him harden beneath her with each rub. He groaned her name and attempted to move his arms to touch her, but he found that his arms and even his head was glued to the bed by her Force. He wasn't happy about it.

Rey giggled and leaned forward until her breasts touched his bare chest and he hissed, glaring down at her in frustration, "You were saying?" She mimicked his wicked grin before licking her thumb sensually and Ben's pupils were blown wide, his jaw dropping.

"Rey you little damn tease—" Ben started hoarsely, but was cut off by the Force Bond officially ending their time.

Rey was sad that he was gone, but completely satisfied by how she had him wrapped around her finger.

Light-years away, the Supreme Leader of the First Order roared in rage before going to take a freezing shower he desperately needed.

* * *

 **A/N Just to clarify, I won't be writing smut. I will be writing little scenes like this but not actual smut. I'm just not good at it and don't feel comfortable writing it yet so I do not want to ruin my story. But this story will have a plot just with a lot of Reylo scenes. Thank you for reading!**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: I'm just going to say I had a bad case of writer's block. I had a chapter already written then at last minute I didn't like it so I had to rewrite completely. If you also read my other Reylo fanfic In the End, It's Him and I, I'll be updating it sometime this week, too. Sorry for any typos or errors. I'm editing this at 1am. Enjoy!**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Disney, Lucasfilm, Star Wars, its affiliates or any of its characters and I do not own any of the songs mentioned here. I make no money out of this.**

* * *

 **She would not show that she was afraid,**

 **But being and feeling alone was too much to face,**

 **Though everyone said that she was so strong,**

 **What they didn't know is that she could barely carry on...**

 **You'll never be alone**

 **When you miss me close your eyes**

 **I may be far but never gone**

 **When you fall asleep tonight**

 **Just remember that we lay under the same stars...**

 **A Little Too Much and Never be Alone by Shawn Mendes**

* * *

 **Ben: 15**

 **Rey: 5**

* * *

Rey ran outside, far away from her home as she possibly could without getting lost. She didn't dare uncover her ears, afraid that if she did she could still hear the angry shouts and breaking of glass. It was the worst fight her parents have had to date and this time it was about her.

She cried, bringing her knees up to her chin where she sat in the shadow of a red boulder. She fearfully uncovered her ears and was relieved to be met with no other noise besides her own sobs.

"Rey? What's wrong, my little padawan?"

She looked up through bleary eyes to see Ben crouched in front of her, concern written all over his face.

"Are your parents at it again?" He added grimly.

Rey nodded with a sniffle.

Ben sighed, moving to sit beside her and she instinctively crawled onto his lap where he hugged her small body against his chest. He kissed the top of her head before resting his cheek on it.

"I want to be with you on the island, Ben, please take me." She mumbled into his chest, reaching up to twirl a lock of his hair around her tiny fingers in comfort.

He was always at a loss of words when she asked him this for he had no way to whisk her away from her personal hell. A child shouldn't be living like she was, it made his blood boil.

"I... One day, Rey, I swear. I'll see what I can do. Stay strong, my princess." He replied firmly and came up with something he hoped would finally work. "Close your eyes, princess, and only think about actually being with me on the island. Can you do that?"

She peered up at him in confusion, but simply nodded, giggling when he turned her around and covered her eyes. How she loved surprises. She started to slowly feel a strange, indescribable sensation that raised goosebumps on her skin and heard Ben's breathing pick up, next thing she knew she could no longer smell the gritty red dirt, but instead the scent of the salty ocean. No longer feel the heat of the day, instead a cool, ocean breeze chilled her skin.

She opened her eyes as soon as Ben moved his hands away. She gasped, taking in the sight before her as she stood. There was the sea, not even more than yard away and a sunset low on the horizon. She reached with her hand to touch the soft sand that molded softly to her desire and turned around to see rolling hills that were green! Ben was watching her awestruck expression take it all in. It had worked.

"Is this...?" Rey trailed off, turning around to see Ben was leaning against a smooth boulder.

"Yes. It's the island and that's the ocean. It's just the Force bond though, you're not really here." He smiled when she squealed in joy. She didn't care, it all felt very real.

"It's beautiful!" She breathed, tilting her head up to see a herd of Porgs fly overhead.

Ben thought she was even more beautiful.

He relented to play with her after insistent begging so he hoped nobody was watching as he pretended to be a monster chasing a shrieking little girl only he could see. She was a fast runner and he allowed her the head start before finally catching her. Ben roared playfully and scooped her up, throwing her giggling form up at the sky. He caught her when she came down, he always would.

"Sing to me? Before I go back home?" Rey asked hopefully, now sitting on Ben's shoulders as he walked along the beach, the sunset long gone. He stopped by a boulder and she clutched his dark curls as he climbed to sit on it. It offered a breathtaking view of the night sky filled to with stars and moons.

He sighed, not because he didn't want to sing to her, but because he only knows a single song word by word and it turns out to be the lullaby his mother sang to him when he was a just a little boy. It was more fitting for Rey though and she loved it.

 _"The other night, dear_

 _As I lay sleeping_

 _I dreamt I held you in my arms_

 _When I awoke, dear_

 _I was mistaken_

 _So I hung my head, and I cried,"_

She loved the chorus and sang along softly with him.

 _"You are my sunshine_

 _My only sunshine_

 _You make me happy_

 _When skies are gray_

 _You'll never know, dear_

 _How much I love you_

 _Please don't take_

 _My sunshine away..."_

* * *

 **Present**

* * *

Rey woke up the next day in one of the greatest moods in her life. She bit her lip and hugged her pillow to her chest as she laid in bed, reeling over the events of last night.

There was new hope. With every passing second, she could recall a new memory that had been lost to her and each one made her smile, some even brought tears to her eyes. Even though she was very young back then, she could remember. She could only imagine how it's like for Ben.

She frowned. When would they see each other again? They surely had many things to discuss. Now it was a waiting game to see when the Force bond decided to make its appearance.

She got up, got ready for the day, and changed into training clothes. Which were basically just her gray tights and sports bra. She grabbed her staff on the way out and ascended the basement steps to the cantina. From there she took a sharp left to the small elevator that took her up to the top floor. It was an empty space meant as a dance floor whenever the cantina was full to the brim, but this floor was the only one that contained an all glass wall, showcasing an amazing view of Coruscant. It was the closest thing to being in open space that she could feel at least in the daytime.

She stretched and then started practicing her staff moves and swings, trying to improve her speed. She had picked up a blinding stride, about to complete the best combo she ever had until the Force bond decided to interrupt.

Rey shrieked and Ben cursed loudly startled by almost getting smacked with a deadly swing of Rey's staff. She had stopped so abruptly in mid swing that the movement made her stagger and fall on her ass with a resonating thud.

"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT? ARE YOU IN DANGER?" Ben shouted angrily, lightsaber ignited by his side instantly even though it would be useless if she really was in danger.

Rey huffed, the hair sticking to her sweaty forehead rising, "What? No, I'm not in danger! I was training, you dumb-dumb. Thought I'd almost snap your neck with my staff." She muttered, rubbing her behind with a wince.

His anger snapped to relief and then concern when he rushed to help her to her feet, lightsaber hidden in his belt yet again.

"I'm so sorry, Rey. Are you alright?" He asked, cupping her face and brushing away loose tendrils of her hair.

"I'll live. Thanks. Could've been worse like that time I broke my wrist." She shuddered at the memory.

"Why are you even using that thing?" Ben spat, glaring at her staff.

"Because someone broke my lightsaber." She replied dryly.

He did a double take, "Oh, no, nope. I'm not taking all the blame for that!"

Rey giggled at his irritated scowl, "Relax, Ben, stop taking shit so seriously."

He blinked, cheeks reddening as Rey walked behind him to massage his tense shoulders. He sighed, turning around to face her only to find her smirking those mischievous pink lips of hers.

"Massages don't work on me." He says, gently removing her hands from his shoulders, but holding them in his instead.

"Then what does?" Rey bit her lip curiously, only to play along because she knew the answer to that. It was written all over the way he was staring at her lips. Like an animal eyeing its prey... It sent a shudder down her spine.

He was a moment away from kissing her when her head snapped to the side at the sound of the ringing elevator.

"What is it?" Ben whispered, instantly on edge and reaching for his lightsaber.

"No," She placed a hand over his in reassurance. "Somebody's coming that's all. Don't distract me and stay quiet."

The elevator door opened to reveal Poe Dameron and Rey put on an easy smile, stepping away from Ben for some much needed space.

"I thought I heard someone up here... Whatcha doing?" Poe strode over to her.

"Hey, Poe!" She ignores Ben's growl. "Yeah, I was just training. How did you hear me...?"

"Oh, my room's down there." He pointed to the floor. Right, the remaining male resistance pilots were assigned the second to last floor.

"Sorry if I woke you." She says sheepishly.

"Nah. I've been up for a while. Hey, do you mind having a training buddy? At least in hand-to-hand combat, I ain't got no staff and no Force like you do." He chuckled.

Rey liked Poe ever since she met him. Whenever she wasn't spending time with Finn, she was with Poe. He was a fun and easy guy to be around. He loved competitions, they always made bets on even the most practical of things, and he was the only person she could talk about ships and their parts with full understanding. She could even consider him her second-best friend.

"Alright... Are you sure you can handle it though?" Rey grinned ruefully, setting her staff aside.

She forgot that to Ben this was a one-sided conversation. So, she had to swallow a squeak of surprise when he was suddenly at her back, gripping her wrist.

"What does that mean?" He whispered icily in her ear.

Poe laughed, "I'll go easy on you."

It was Rey's turn to laugh, "I won't."

She nonchalantly shook off Ben's grip, going into a combat position hoping he'd understand what was going on. Poe started to remove his jacket and start to stretch facing away from her and she took the chance to whisper to Ben.

"We're just going to train."

"Not with just that slip of fabric you're wearing." Ben growled, pointedly tugging on a strap of her bra.

"What? Are you serious?"

"Do I joke?" His voice dropped like the dead.

Rey snorted, "How do you intend to stop me?"

And for the rest of her days that was one of the biggest mistake she ever made. Never underestimate a possessive Ben Solo who was also the Supreme Leader of the First Order Kylo Ren.

Rey's eyes widened as he suddenly snaked an arm around her bare waist, holding her tightly against his chest as his lips descended to greedily suck on the juncture of her neck and shoulder.

She stifled a gasp, struggling against his hold, but it was futile.

"Tell him something came up and leave. Hurry before you magically have a love bite." He ordered in her ear and nipped her skin for emphasis.

"Shit. Fine, fine. Let go." She hissed and he released her just as Poe turned around.

"Oh, would you look at the time!" Rey says nervously, gathering up her staff and not making eye contact as she rambled. "I, uh, forgot I had something I got to do... Have to take a shower and stuff... I missed breakfast too so... Yeah, let's take a rain check, so sorry, bye."

By that point the elevator door opened and she stepped inside, leaving an extremely confused and suspicious Poe. She sighed in relief when she realized Ben was gone.

The bastard was going to pay.

* * *

After showering and preparing for the rest of the day she was the only one in the cantina having breakfast. That meant sitting at the bar bored as hell. General Organa wanted everybody to lay low, especially her so she wasn't allowed on missions even though she was itching to help. At least the other day she had relented to allow her to go out at nights to have "fun" and at the same time pick-pocket people for much needed credits or to steal ships to build up the Resistance. Only thing was, she had to go with Poe. She was being treated like a child.

"Rey."

She was so lost in her thoughts of being annoyed with the General that she hadn't noticed her son had appeared beside her. She then pretended not to notice him.

"Rey... Are you giving me the silent treatment?"

She kept eating her food silently, looking at anywhere, but him.

"You are. Still such a petulant child."

She could hear the smirk in his tone the smug bastard.

 _Still the teenager with the high-ego, anger management issues._

"I'm not sorry you know, so don't expect an apology."

She simply turned her back to him in reply, proudly squaring her shoulders.

"Fine, don't talk to me. It wasn't like I was going to talk to you about ending the First Order, joining the Resistance or anything like that."

He grinned from ear to ear when she whirled around on the bar stool with narrowed eyes.

"You're too easy." He snickered.

"Screw you."

"You're talking to me!"

"What you did... I won't allow for it again. Poe's my friend who may I remind you that you tortured."

He ignored the last part, "He may be your friend, but he's still a man with a dick, Rey."

The anger lingering at the back of her thoughts about her situation with General Leia didn't contribute to her incoming rage fit.

"So?" Rey snapped and slammed her hand on the bar, her Force breaking all the glass bottles. "It's my body and I'll show as much skin as I damn want. I can protect myself, I don't need you to start doing it for me! Oh, and let me remind you, you're not my boyfriend to be staking a claim on me. I bet you've fucked many a whore. If I want to fuck Poe, I'll fuck him, if I want to fuck anybody, I will!"

She knew nobody in his life had dared to speak to him in such a way, much less chastise and shout at him. She was the only person who could do it and not be murdered. Maybe? But now she didn't give a fuck. He turned red all the way to the tips of his ears, dark eyes glaring dangerously at the mention of her fucking anybody. She braced herself for his own rage fit since his chest was heaving and if looks could kill she'd be buried by now... But it never came.

He let out a long breath and rubbed his forehead, "You're right."

 _What?_

"Wha...?" She had never been so confused in her life.

He turned away from her as he spoke, "As much as I've tried to forget the past, I can't. I couldn't protect you, Rey, I've hurt you in so many ways. Now that I remember, the hatred and disgust I have for myself is tenfold. All I am is a poison to you, a burden and I should let you move on with your life... I'll find a way to sever this bond, I promise-"

"NO! No, Ben." She cut him off in panic, standing in front of him with a fierce look in her hazel eyes, "You're not a poison or a burden to me. Never. Ben, forgive yourself for I've already forgiven you, even before remembering. What I meant by my words is that I want you to trust me, wholly. I'm not going to fuck Poe or anybody. I swear. You are the air that I breathe, please, don't leave me..." She choked out a sob, hyperventilating. "I, I don't want t-to be alone again. You, you said I wouldn't be alone. I, I don't think I could sur-survive losing you, too."

To say Ben was shocked was an understatement. He did it again without realizing it, hurting her. His heart throbbed painfully at the sight of her sobbing and his soul also ached of the thought of never seeing her again.

"Oh, my Rey, never," Ben suddenly enveloped her in his arms and she instantly wrapped her hands around him, crying into his chest. "You'll never be alone ever again. I'm sorry. I'm not going anywhere if you don't want me to-"

"I never want you to go!" She sniffled as he rubbed her back comfortingly, his tunic stained with her tears, but he didn't care.

"Then I won't go." He promised and tilted her chin upward to meet his eyes and kiss away her tears. "See? Now stop crying, my Rey, it's all better."

She nodded with a small smile, her breathing returning to normal and feeling embarrassed for he was staring at her blotchy red skin and red eyes.

"It's still adorably sad when you cry. I remember you'd get mad at me for smiling at your sad face whenever you'd fall or throw a tantrum."

"It was mean that's why." Rey rolled her eyes.

"No, it wasn't mean because I always helped you." He reminded and his face turned to the side sharply, listening to something she couldn't hear. "Give me a second. I'm being called."

Rey nodded and just as Ben turned around he faded. Guess it would be more than a second. She let out an exhausted sigh. Were all encounters with Ben going to be this emotionally draining?

"Hey! Rey!"

She turned around to see Poe coming up to her. He stopped short when he saw the broken glass everywhere on the floor.

"What the...?"

"Oh, I sneezed while meditating." Rey explained with a nervous chuckle.

"Ooookay. I'm just going to believe you. Anyway..." He let it go and returned to tell her whatever he came for. "Guess what? We are going out tonight. Mission free because you've been on edge lately and we need to get you the hell out of this place for longer than a couple of hours. I convinced the General, okay?"

Rey gaped at his words, "Really? Out all night without being petty thieves?"

"Yes. So, wear something fancy tonight, we'll go have fun, and I might have found a place where they sell a kyber crystal. The thing you need to make a new lightsaber you know. Chewy will babysit BB-8 for me like always. Maker knows we need this break." Poe sighed dramatically, amusement in his eyes when Rey squealed in joy and surprised him with a hug. They weren't the arms she craved and that made her frown, but she was ever grateful that Poe had turned into another person that genuinely cared for her.


End file.
